This week for DBC, I had to think and write about a conflict I previously had and the basic emotions I felt during that conflict. This should be an easy and straightforward task, but for some reason, it wasn’t. I am usually very calm and collected, and it takes a lot to get me angry or upset. In the rare case I do get upset, I usually get upset at myself (whether for feeling helpless or for putting my faith in the wrong people), learn from it, and then either give them another chance or move on.
I am a very analytical person and don’t usually let my emotions affect my thought process and decisions. Whenever I do feel my emotions run, though, I usually hold off any decision making until I have a clearer mind. I do this because I don’t want to make the wrong decision at the moment and because I want time to analyze the possibilities and outcome. Because of this, I usually don’t regret what I do. Sometimes I make mistakes, though. But mistakes happen, and I don’t regret it because it was something that I’ve given thorough thought.
When I am faced with a problem, I am usually very direct, which may not always be a good idea. There were times when the opposing party felt attacked because of my directness and went on the defensive, even if that wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to get everything on the table, determine how we can correct those problems, and move forward from there (some people call it too much business/too professional?).
Thinking back, if I had a second chance to go back to the problem and solve it again, I would still be direct. It is better to make sure everyone is on the same page and understands the situation at hand. What I would do differently, though, is to address those problems in person, or at the very least, over the phone. Words and text can be misinterpreted and usually comes off as strong when you’re being direct. Body language and tone is very important when discussing problems and helping each other understand that we (or I) just want to resolve the problem.
This blog has been initially published on tonymai.github.io.